Helping Your Team Step Up

Over the past 13 years of coaching and training leaders, one of the phrases I hear time and again is this: “I just need my people to step up.”

And yet, here’s the uncomfortable truth I’ve had to learn myself.

It’s very hard for people to step up if their boss has their foot on their chest.

Not intentionally. Not maliciously. But through subtle, well-meaning behaviours that quietly hold people back.

In this episode of The Leader’s Kitbag, I share a personal story from my time working in the Leadership Academy at Tesco, where I unintentionally stopped a talented graduate from developing simply because I thought I was “helping”.

This episode is a practical reflection on how we sometimes suppress the very growth we’re asking for.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why leaders rarely hold people back deliberately but often do so while trying to help
• How giving quick answers can slowly reduce your team’s ability to think for themselves
• The hidden cost of redoing someone’s work and the impact on their motivation
• Why stepping back without disengaging is critical for long-term development

Ben’s Key Takeaway

If I truly believe that my job as a leader is to support, develop and look after the people I have the privilege and responsibility to lead so that they can deliver the results I’m accountable for, then sometimes the most powerful thing I can do is step back.

Not to abandon them.

But to give them space.

Because people can only rise up when we take our foot off their chest.

This week, ask yourself:

Where might I be unintentionally pinning someone down whilst wanting them to step up?

Is there a meeting I could let them lead?

A problem I could coach them through instead of solving?

A presentation they could deliver in my place?

If we want growth, confidence and accountability in our teams, we have to create the conditions for it.

Want to learn more about how to be a leader?

The waitlist is now open for the cohort of my ‘Leader in Me’ programme.

If you’re ready to:

• Build confidence and capability as a leader
• Break free from firefighting and become more proactive
• Learn how to inspire your team and deliver results…

Join the waitlist here for early access and updates on the next open programme.

Prefer bite-sized learning?

Check out the 10-4-10 Leadership Programme, my free online course that delivers powerful, practical leadership tools in just 10 minutes a week.

You’ll get:

• Weekly lessons on topics like delegation, motivation and prioritisation
• A short video, podcast, and book recommendation each week
• Simple tactics you can use straight away

It’s practical, no-nonsense leadership training that fits into your busy schedule.

Learn more about the 10-4-10 programme here.

 

Podcast Transcript

Helping Your Team Step Up 

Just the other day, I was taking a break and having some lunch in the office, and I was thinking about saying I hear from leaders all of the time.

Over the past 13 years, coaching and training leaders, one of the things I most commonly hear is along the lines of I just need my people to step up. 

But here’s the thing, I’ve realised it’s very hard for people to step up if their boss has got their foot on their chest pinning them down. 

And hear me out before you dismiss this idea. 

It’s very rare for us to do this intentionally. 

We don’t set out to suppress and pin our team down, but it happens through some subtle, unintentional behaviours and actions. 

And if I’m honest, I’ve done this myself in the past. 

When I was working in the Leadership Academy at Tesco, I was facilitating a workshop and I had a new graduate, Doug, working with me. 

He was young, bright and very capable and because he was new I thought it would be best for him just to shadow me. 

And at that time within Tesco there was a standard protocol in the business that at the end of every meeting or workshop you would do something called B’s and C’s or benefits and concerns. 

So as I was asking the group what benefits they’re taking from the workshop and any concerns that they had, a member of the group said, yeah, Ben, I’ve got a concern. 

He said you’ve had dog with you all day shadowing but you’ve not let him do anything and he was absolutely correct. 

He had me bang to rights. 

I didn’t let Doug do anything and I should have. 

How is he ever going to step up, grow and develop if I didn’t give him the opportunity now? 

Sure, I would have given him the opportunity and I did further along the line, but actually I could have gotten doing something straight away. 

It would have been much more beneficial and it would have accelerated his development. 

And here’s what I’ve realised since: 

Leaders rarely hold people back deliberately. 

We do it while trying to help. 

Let me give you two really common ways this shows up. 

Someone brings you a problem. 

And within seconds, you give them the solution. 

It feels efficient. 

But if you always provide the answer, your team stops looking for one. 

Instead of asking:
“What do you think we should do?” 

We jump in. 

Over time, they stop thinking at the level you need them to. 

If you want people to step up — ask more than you tell. 

Another way you might unintentionally prevent your people from stepping up is by redoing their work. 

Imagine they send you a draft report. 

You tweak it here, tighten it up there, or restructure it somewhere else. 

You think you’re adding value and raising the standard, but their experience is Ben doesn’t trust me, he’ll redo my work anyway, so what’s the point? 

Yes, our adjustments might improve the quality of that report or piece of work by 5%. 

But as Marshall Goldsmith says in his brilliant book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, that 5% improvement in the quality of the document might result in their motivation being reduced by 50%. 

Why? 

Because their work, their plan has just become our plan. 

If you’ve been tuning in to the leader’s kit bag for some time now, you’ll almost certainly heard me talk about my definition of a leader’s job. 

And my view is that a leader’s job is to support, develop and look after the people that we have the privilege and responsibility to lead so that they can deliver the result we’re accountable for. 

And sometimes the best way that we can do that to support them and their development is to step back and let them get on with things. 

That’s not to abandon them. 

It’s not to totally disengage. 

It’s just allow them some space and freedom to try things, have a wobble, and then we can be there to pick them up and provide the support. 

But if we never let them have those wobbles, if we never let them try, then how are they ever going to be able to step up? 

So here’s something for you to reflect on and try this week. 

Ask yourself, where am I unintentionally pinning people down whilst at the same time hoping, asking and wanting them to step up? 

Is there a meeting you could let people lead instead of you? 

Could you coach them to find their own solution instead of simply giving it to them yourself? 

Or is there a presentation they could give in your place? 

You see, people can only rise up when we take a foot off of their chest.