How to Ask for Feedback at Work and Get Honest Answers From Your Team

How to Ask for Feedback at Work and Get Honest Answers From Your Team

“How am I doing?”

It’s a well-intentioned question. And it almost always gets the same answer: “Yeah, fine. All good.”

Over the last two episodes of The Leaders Kitbag, I’ve looked at how to give feedback well. In this episode, I flip it round. One of the questions I’m asked most often on my leadership programmes is how to get feedback on how you’re doing as a leader.

The challenge is that broad questions like “Have you got any feedback for me?” leave people unsure where to begin. And there’s a bigger problem. You’re their boss. Most people don’t want to say the wrong thing or sound critical of the person they report to, so they take the safe option. You walk away thinking all is well, when really you’ve learned nothing.

I share how to ask for feedback at work in a way that gives people somewhere to start, a few specific questions you can use straight away, and the one golden rule that decides whether people keep being honest with you.

Because asking for feedback is only half the job. What you do with it is what earns you the next conversation.

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why “How am I doing?” rarely gets you an honest answer
• How the power dynamic between you and your team shapes the feedback you hear
• How to ask for feedback by focusing on one or two specific areas
• Three practical questions to ask for feedback at work that people can actually answer
• The golden rule for keeping honest feedback coming
• A simple one-to-one experiment to try this week

Ben’s Key Takeaways

If you want honest feedback, make it easy for people to give it. Vague questions get vague answers. Pick one or two areas where you genuinely want feedback, and ask about those.

A question like “Would you like more or less direction from me on your day-to-day tasks?” gives people somewhere to start, and gives you something you can act on. Over time, feedback stops being a big event and becomes a normal part of how you work together.

Then act on it or acknowledge it. That doesn’t mean doing everything you’re asked. Sometimes the honest answer is, “I can’t change that, and here’s why.” What matters is that people can see they’ve been heard. If nothing changes, or you get defensive, they’ll stop telling you.

A final thought:

In your next one-to-one, ask for one specific piece of feedback on how you could serve that person better. Then listen, say thank you, and let them see what you do with it.

Want to learn more about how to be a leader?

Enrolment is now open for the January 2027 cohort of my ‘Leader in Me’ programme.

If you’re ready to:

• Build confidence and capability as a leader
• Break free from firefighting and become more proactive
• Learn how to inspire your team and deliver results…

Learn more and secure your place on the programme here.

 

Podcast Transcript

How to Get Honest Feedback from Your Team

“How am I doing?”

It’s a well-intentioned question. And it almost always gets the same answer.

“Yeah, fine. All good.” 

Over the last two episodes of The Leaders Kitbag, we’ve looked at how to give feedback well. Today I want to flip it round, because one of the questions I’m asked most on my leadership programmes is: how do I get feedback on how I’m doing as a leader?

Questions like “How am I doing?” or “Have you got any feedback for me?” are so broad that most people don’t know where to begin.

And there’s a bigger problem. You’re their boss.

People worry about saying the wrong thing or sounding critical of the person they report to. So, they take the safe option: “No, nothing really. Everything’s fine.”

You walk away thinking all is well, when really, you’ve learned nothing.

The fix is to get specific. Pick one or two areas where you genuinely want feedback and ask about those.

For example:

“What’s one thing I could do to better support you on your current project?”

“How could we make our team meetings even more effective?”

Or one I particularly like:

“Would you like more or less direction from me on your day-to-day tasks?”

Questions like these give people somewhere to start, and they give you something you can act on. Over time, feedback stops being a big event and becomes normal.

There is one golden rule, though: whatever the feedback is, act on it or acknowledge it.

If someone shares something and nothing changes, or worse, you get defensive, they’ll stop telling you.

That doesn’t mean doing everything you’re asked. Sometimes the honest answer is, “I can’t change that, and here’s why.” What matters is that people can see they’ve been heard.

So here’s one thing to try this week.

In your next one-to-one, ask for one specific piece of feedback on how you could serve that person better. Then listen, say thank you, and let them see what you do with it.

That’s it for this episode.

As always, look after yourself, and look after those you have the privilege and responsibility to lead.

Until next time… lead on.